Oh my poor, poor neglected blog.
Clearly, I have not had the inspiration to write. Basically – these are the things on my mind:
June 15th – my sister has been dead for 8 years and I can’t wrap my head around that much time.
June 21st – my first father’s day without my dad. Suckville. Last year dad got his dx the day after father’s day so it’s just a bad weekend in general.
June 27th – would have been dad’s 85th birthday. I missed attending his 84th and still am not over that.
July 13th – will be one year since my dad died. Also suckville.
I am really not depressed. I would say 98% of the time I am actually very, very happy. But when I sit down to write all I feel like writing about is my dad, my sister, or the pregnancy. Is there anything really new to say about any of those things?
The general pregnancy update is that I am as big and as healthy as a horse. I really don’t mind being huge, as much as I joke about it. The baby is healthy so that is all that matters. I have a midwife and doula I just love and am planning for a VBAC. My “drop dead” date is September 4th. In other words, if I haven’t had the baby by then, they will cut me open. My due date is Aug 20th, so this gives me a pretty big window. Of course, the baby’s health comes first so if anything changes I would be more than willing to have a c-section earlier. I would really like to have a VBAC, but not at the risk of anyones health.
The Girl appears to be VERY excited about the baby. So far, so good.
The baby is moving like crazy and I am fairly sure it is trying to kick a hole through my belly – just to the right of my bellybutton. We do not know the gender this time, but my gut is saying boy; daddy’s is saying girl. I am kind of hoping for a girl, just because I think it would be nice to have sisters – I have such a great relationship with my sister that I want that for The Girl. But I also know it doesn’t matter at all. Whatever comes out I am sure to fall in love with it in no time at all.
So that’s really it. Maybe I’ll get the mojo back to write and maybe I won’t – who knows. But I do appreciate all of you taking the time to read.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
VBAC — Vaginal Birth something something?
VBAC — Vaginal Birth something something?
It’s okay to write about the bad stuff. Keep writing about it until you don’t feel like it anymore.
Vaginal Birth After Cesarean.
And thanks, Patia. You always say the perfect thing.
Aw, thank you.
Sorry about the duplicate comment. I don’t know how I did that.
I know how these anniversaries can suck. My dad’s birthday was last Saturday. He would have been 66. It’s ok to miss them and think about them, y’know?
And in good news, I’m totally rooting for the VBAC!
Thanks for the update. I’ll echo what Patia says. Write about it until you don’t need to anymore. I’m glad things are going well, baby-wise. Keep taking care.
What Patia said. Keep talking it out until you don’t need to talk it out anymore. It’s always better to get the unpleasant feelings out in a blog post than to just let them bubble inside. (And I speak from experience here.)
And it is okay to miss them as long as you need to. I still miss my mom and it’s been almost thirty years.
I’m glad to hear the good news about the baby. Keep us posted.
Write about the insurance company battle. You’ve got me curious.