Oh my poor, poor neglected blog.
Clearly, I have not had the inspiration to write. Basically – these are the things on my mind:
June 15th – my sister has been dead for 8 years and I can’t wrap my head around that much time.
June 21st – my first father’s day without my dad. Suckville. Last year dad got his dx the day after father’s day so it’s just a bad weekend in general.
June 27th – would have been dad’s 85th birthday. I missed attending his 84th and still am not over that.
July 13th – will be one year since my dad died. Also suckville.
I am really not depressed. I would say 98% of the time I am actually very, very happy. But when I sit down to write all I feel like writing about is my dad, my sister, or the pregnancy. Is there anything really new to say about any of those things?
The general pregnancy update is that I am as big and as healthy as a horse. I really don’t mind being huge, as much as I joke about it. The baby is healthy so that is all that matters. I have a midwife and doula I just love and am planning for a VBAC. My “drop dead” date is September 4th. In other words, if I haven’t had the baby by then, they will cut me open. My due date is Aug 20th, so this gives me a pretty big window. Of course, the baby’s health comes first so if anything changes I would be more than willing to have a c-section earlier. I would really like to have a VBAC, but not at the risk of anyones health.
The Girl appears to be VERY excited about the baby. So far, so good.
The baby is moving like crazy and I am fairly sure it is trying to kick a hole through my belly – just to the right of my bellybutton. We do not know the gender this time, but my gut is saying boy; daddy’s is saying girl. I am kind of hoping for a girl, just because I think it would be nice to have sisters – I have such a great relationship with my sister that I want that for The Girl. But I also know it doesn’t matter at all. Whatever comes out I am sure to fall in love with it in no time at all.
So that’s really it. Maybe I’ll get the mojo back to write and maybe I won’t – who knows. But I do appreciate all of you taking the time to read.
Have a great weekend, everyone!